"Dark Star" DVD Review (2.5/5) - Jeremiah

Well, my first official Three Geek Marathon is coming to a close. This post will conclude my “Director Of The Month” series. My only regret is that my choice of movies, and shortcomings as a reviewer, have caused us to go out with a whimper instead of the much-anticipated bang. I hope you've enjoyed this little series. I hope to do it again in future months. If you've enjoyed it drop us a line or just comment on the blog. For you see, in addition to my conductive hearing loss, I was also tragically born without psychic powers. Sarcasm aside, without further ado I give you my mediocre best.

John Carpenter's "Dark Star" isn't necessarily a bad movie; it's just not a good one either. I spent most of the film with my head cocked to one side and my mouth slightly agape in awe and confusion as to what I was watching.

It took me a few minutes to realize that it was a parody. It's played so straight that if you're not careful you would mistake it for a really low budget sci-fi movie. Oh it is one, don't get me wrong, but the deal breaker is that they know it. Most of the comedy comes from the realistic way the characters are portrayed.

These are not the brave, intrepid explorers of Gene Roddenberry's universe. These are guys who are bored, have hankering to blow up a planet and will not flinch at whining, telling a superior to shut up or yelling at alien lifeforms to leave them the hell alone. In fact, one of the characters is not really authorized to even be an astronaut. He's an fuel maintenance worker who, through darkly bizarre circumstances, ended up on the voyage by mistake. The monologue which he gives to describe how he happened to arrive there, followed by footage of his past personal journal logues, are one of the few reasons that this film got as high of a rating as it did.

"Dark Star" has some good ideas, they just, for whatever reason, never really had the chance to voice themselves. It has moments, as I've said before, it's just that they weren't good enough to justify my recommending this movie to you.

As far as Carpenter movies go, this is one of his worst. I feel I should be really harsh -- trash it, mock the poor acting and cheesy special effects -- and yet I can't. He tried, god bless him, he tried. That's why I love the man. With all his movies he at least tries. Sure he fails; he's not a demi-God. But at least he puts forth the attempt. Even in the beginning he was scoring, editing, co-writing and co-directing his works. If anything, he's guilty of overreaching, which is actually quite laudable, in my opinion.

So, in spite of being torn between recommending this movie or not, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lean towards not. It's not terrible, but unfortunately it's also not good enough for you to spend the 83 minutes it requires of you. Carpenter fans only, and even those people should take caution.

2.5 out of 5

Yours Until Hell Freezes Over,

Jeremiah