I HATE World of Warcraft Pt. 1

It's an addiction. Not like heroin -- to me at least -- but an addiction none the less. I love many aspects of it, but you assholes make me want the sell my account to some Chinese gold farmer every time I log in.

I should not be writing this... I can feel Sherman rolling his eyes at me, even in his sleep, and I know Thad will flog me with that Whip he got after seeing the new Indy movie. Still, I have to write about it -- WOW is one of the biggest pop culture phenomenons of the modern day gamer. And I play it, and dammit I'm good at it.

I play a Paladin. The noble knight riding along on horseback, there to save the day and win the girl, has always seemed catchy to me. I also play a lot of Clerics in D&D, and a Holy Pally is the same thing in my book when it comes down to WOW.

I also play Alliance on Feathermoon, an RP-PVE server (although I have found the role-playing here involves spamming the Trade channel with Chuck Norris facts, thinly veiled racial slurs and the single entendre. Still... I don't have to explain what Tanking and fucking Argo are to the moonpies on my sever like some of you assholes need). So I have to deal with 300,000 chattering 13 year old emobags that don't know dick about teamwork.

Now that you know a bit about me, I'll start my rant. This week's will be on Skill vs. Gear.

The worst thing that could ever have happened to WOW was the inclusion of the inspect option. Instead of trusting someone when they said they can heal you a group can just look at your gear's stats and your build to note your worth. This may sound good in theory, but in the end you end up judging someone on how shiny their equipment is and care dick about their play level.

"Well gee, Darkcloudlinkillerman, it looks like Healerpally over here doesn't have the 9 THOUSAND +healing I think he needs to make sure I don't die when I pull that giant demon across the bridge and through 37 other demons to hit me with a world-ending pyroblast. Maybe we need to find someone else."

With little exaggeration, that is what I hear every time I try to get into a group. In order to progress in the game I need gear from Karazhan, in order to run Karazhan I need gear from Karazhan. That is the catch-22 I hear from these fuck-baskets. Nevermind that I'm sitting at 1300 plus healing, 300 over what is really needed. Nevermind that you assholes were running it just fine at +800 when the raid first opened up. You want absolute certainty that you will succeed, even though you yourself do not have the gear equivalent to your class you expect me to have.

The other problem with that logic is judging a healer's stats off of one class against a healer's stats of another. I need less +heals than a Priest. I don't have a HOT or a mass heal (yet, thank you WotLK) I have a big heal and a fucking huge heal. Plus a barrage of buffs I can place on you and myself to keep you alive and me with more mana. I also crit fairly regularly which in turn makes me heal faster and restores mana as well as heals you for more. So judging me against a Priest, or a Druid or Shaman is ridiculous. I am not telling the rogue he needs more Strength or something retarded like that, so shut the fuck up about spirit. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CLASS, and that is not my fault.

The thing a good player can bring, which is often overlooked, is skill. I might not have the gear that the weirdo living in his parent's basement has, but I can promise you that if you die one of three things happened.

1. You fucked up and pulled agro on something that can one or two shot you.
2. The tank fucked up and dropped agro on something that can one or two shot you.
3. You are the tank and took a couple of unlucky crits back to back that one or two shotted you.

So the next time you spam "lf healer 4 kara must hav t4 OR BETER" remember what I said, stop being an asshole, and for Christ's sake, learn to spell.

Fuck why haven't I just let the account expire.

-Richard (AHH!) Kloiber